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Ronan Apcar (NSW) piano.
I’m not so sure why my favourite music tends to be so emotionally intense and heavy; pieces about death, hell, apocalypse, abuse, identity, you get the idea. Those that know me will know that I find humour in almost everything, especially where I shouldn’t! In fact, one of my mantras in life is ‘everything’s a joke’ – and I mean that in the most unnihilistic way possible (it’s just a reminder to keep things light and stop overthinking). So, I’ve always found it a bit jarring that I keep gravitating towards playing and creating works that are, in one way or another, about death.
But it’s these kinds of pieces that I’ve always found to be the most profound and moving experiences; Henry Purcell’s Dido’s Lament, Gustav Mahler’s Das Lied von der Erde, Lili Boulanger’s Pie Jesu, Alfred Schnittke’s Cello Concerto No. 1, David Lang’s the little match girl passion. Speaking of David Lang, death seems to be a real niche for him...! I first came across his music when I studied his hauntingly beautiful song cycle death speaks at university in Canberra. For me, it’s become an album that I always come back to and a bucket list piece to perform.
What makes death speaks so powerful is how simple it is. Typical of Lang’s minimalist style, each of the five songs sits in a delicate and fragile texture woven by the piano, violin, and electric guitar – it’s almost like a musical kaleidoscope. Death is personified by the soprano and speaks directly to you, the listener. Derived from dozens of Franz Schubert’s Lieder, the text is simply incredible. Take, for example, death’s reminder that “you will return to dust”, that “nothing escapes me / not the warrior / not the hunter”, or one of my favourite lyrics “sweetest child / come with me... I love you... please don’t make me make you follow me”.
Curating an upcoming Soundbite, I’ve paired death speaks with Soomin Kim’s I’m doing well, whose piece for singing pianist is a letter to her now-deceased grandmother who she couldn’t visit one last time because of the pandemic. Kim and Lang’s pieces are two sides of the same coin: we speak to death in Kim’s piece, and death speaks back to us in Lang’s. Following these songs, it was only right to finish with a eulogy with the final movement from Olivier Messiaen’s Quartet for the End of Time. This is an extraordinary musical portrait of immortality, or as Messiaen says, “being made divine towards Paradise”.
I’m really excited about this Soundbite and grateful to have the opportunity to program a concert like this. Though I may not seem like it, I do quietly find death terrifying. But despite this concert being about death, I think it will be comforting and even consoling. In the spirit of my mantra, there’s no point getting so bummed out about it! We may as well come to terms with the fact that death is inevitable and create something beautiful out of it.
First published in Volume 48 of Music Makers.
Ronan’s training at ANAM is supported by ANAM Syndicate donors Andrew Blanckensee, Aurel Dessewffy and Olga Vujovic, Peter and Margaret Janssens, Tony and Allison Kelly, Ralph and Margaret Plarre, Ken Schroder, Mick and Margaret Toller and Robert Whitehead